(continued)

4. Make your texts meaningful

If you really want to impress the womanyou like, start a conversation with her over text by sending her something thoughtful.

If you know her well enough, send her a cute meme or a funny GIF that you know she would relate to. If she likes cats, send her a cat meme! Or send her a photo of something that reminded you of her during your day, maybe a pretty flower you noticed on the way to work.

These types of messages will let her know you have a sweet side and that you care about making her smile and seeing her happy.

5. Create suspense

If you want to keep the girl you like on her toes, start a conversation with her by sending her a text shrouded in mystery.

Here are some example texts you could send her:

• “You won’t believe what happened to me today…”
• “I just had a wild third date idea, but I’m not sure whether you’ll approve…”

These kinds of texts will keep her guessing and will build up excitement for what you are about to tell her.

6. Be flirty

Sending a flirty message to the girl you like can add an element of playfulness to the conversation and keep things fresh.

If you’re flirting with a girl you don’t know that well, like someone you matched with on Tinder, or a girl you met recently, then you need to be more cautious. Start a flirty conversation by giving her a small compliment.

If you’re flirting with a girl you have known for some time, and you’re pretty sure she likes you back, then you can be a bit more forward. Tell her that you had a dream about her and send a winking emoji with your message to create suspense. If she asks you for details, you can make a joke and tell her that you don’t kiss and tell!

7. Say good morning

Letting her know she’s on your mind when you wake up is a sweet way to let her know how much you’re into her.

If things are still new and fresh, send her a text following up on a previous conversation you had, for example:

• “Good morning! What was the name of that brunch spot you were talking about the other day?”

If you’re a bit more comfortable with one another, one of these will do:

You’ve been on my mind this morning. Just wanted to wish you a great day!”
“Just passed that coffee shop you love on my way to work, and it made me think of you. I hope you have an amazing day.”
Send a selfie in bed or with your morning coffee with the caption, “Good morning!”

8. Ask her out
   The aim of texting a girl you like is usually to build up to the point of asking her out.

These are signs of positive text exchanges that suggest she would probably say “yes” to meeting up:

Giving full responses to your texts versus short, one or two-word responses.
Asking you questions back and being just as curious about you.
Asking about your weekend plans.
These signs hint that she likes you back, so start your next conversation with her by asking her out.

Here are some ideas:

• “It’s been great texting you, but I’d much prefer getting to know you in person. How does Friday for a drink after work sound?”
• If you want to be less direct and find out her schedule first, you could ask, “What kind of trouble are you getting yourself into this weekend ;)?” Then gauge her response and make plans from there.

9. Use her profile

For a girl you have met through an online dating site or app, like OkCupid or Tinder, you can take advantage of what she has displayed on her public profile.

Look at her photos, as well as the things she has written about herself, and comment on these things to start a conversation.

Here’s an example:

Let’s pretend that in her profile, she mentions that she plays guitar. You could open the conversation by sharing something relatable. You could tell her about the time you tried to learn the guitar in middle school but failed miserably.

10. Comment on her posts

You can use social media to start a conversation with a girl you recently connected with. Communicating via social media also works well with a girl you have known for some time but haven’t spoken to in a while.

Avoid stalking her Instagram and Facebook pages and spamming them with comments and likes. Doing this will make you look obsessive and desperate.

Rather, when she posts something new, leave a thoughtful comment, or dm her privately about it. She may not like the public attention that your comment may get from her friends.

Here’s an idea:

Say she posted a selfie with her dog. You could DM her this: “Cute! And I’m not talking about the dog ;)” If you’re not feeling that bold, then say: “I didn’t know you had a dog! What’s its name?”

How NOT to talk to a girl you like online/over text

There are some things that you just shouldn’t do or say when communicating with the girl you’re into online and over text. Knowing about the most common texting pitfalls will help you avoid embarrassing yourself when messaging your crush. If you want to make a good impression on the girl you like, pay attention to the following advice.

Here are 8 things you should NOT do when talking to a girl you like online or over text:

1. Don’t wait too long to text her

So you just matched with a cute girl on Tinder, or maybe your crush finally gave you her number. Forget the three-day rule when it comes to sending her a message.

If you wait too long to initiate a conversation with the girl you like, it can send the wrong idea. Girls do not appreciate guys that play games.

Send her a message within 24 hours, and when she responds, reply when you are able. You don’t need to space your replies hours apart to make yourself appear busy. By the same token, don’t wait around for her texts. If you’re genuinely busy, it’s OK to reply when you are able. Just don’t leave her on “read” for days on end.

2. Don’t be generic

If you send her boring “hey,” “how you doing,’” and “what’s up?” texts, she is not going to be very excited about texting you back, if she even does.

Use conversation starters that are more engaging.

Here are some examples:

• If you know her a bit better, you could try: “I just finished a book I know you’ll love! Want me to bring it to class tomorrow?”
• If you matched online and don’t know her well, try using something from her profile, like: “I see you love to cook, too! What’s the last meal you made?”

3. Don’t swamp her with messages

If you bombard her with messages when she hasn’t replied, you will easily scare her away. She will think that you’re desperate and clingy if you exhibit this kind of behavior.

If you text her and she doesn’t respond in a few minutes or even a couple of hours, respect her space. She may be super busy, or she may not be that into you. Either way, you want to maintain a good impression.

If she hasn’t replied within 48 hours, make light of the situation. You could say, “You know my grandma texts back faster than you, and she is 85, lol ???? hope you’re having a good day.” If she doesn’t text back again, move on. If she really likes you, she will come around.

4. Don’t send long texts

Most people are busy these days and don’t like to send or receive long texts. Besides, you should be getting to know your crush and connecting with her in person.

When it comes to the length of your texts, make them about as long as hers, and don’t give away too many details. If you have more to say on a topic, use it as a segway to invite her to meet up.

Say she has been asking you lots of questions about your work. You could say, “Why don’t we grab coffee later this week, and then you can ask me all the questions you like ;)”

5. Don’t go overboard with the emojis

Emojis are a good way to be flirty with the girl you like, but don’t overuse them.

A good rule of thumb is this: use an emoji when it will enhance what you are trying to say.

For example, if you want to make it more clear that you are dropping a hint in your message, add an emoji like this: “Do you have plans this weekend? ;)” Throwing in the winking emoji gives away your intention: that you are asking because you want to see her.

Another good rule of thumb is to use emojis as frequently as she uses them. If she likes to use emojis, then speak her language and use them too!

6. Don’t let the conversation be one-sided

If the conversations you’re having with your crush are starting to sound more like an interrogation, then you need to stop and take a step back.

It can be tempting to continue asking a girl questions to keep the conversation going. But if she is not reciprocating, avoid firing one question after another at her, or she will feel smothered.

If she answers your questions but does not ask you anything back, add a comment and talk a bit about yourself. Then, if she is curious and interested, the ball is in her court to ask a follow-up question. If she likes you back, she will want to keep the conversation going.

Here’s what an exchange might look like:

You: Have you traveled anywhere else besides Europe?

Her: Yes, I’ve been to Bali. I wanted to try out surfing.

You: That’s awesome, I’d be interested to know how you found it. I tried windsurfing in Spain, and it was as hard as it looks!

7. Don’t overdo the compliments

There are two rules when it comes to complimenting a woman online.

The first is this: do not make your compliments overly sexual. If you do, she will think you’re either shallow, a creep, or both! Especially if you don’t know her very well.

The second rule is to not give her excessive compliments. If you give her too many compliments, she will think you’re either trying too hard, or you’re being disingenuous. Your compliments will lose their meaning if you give them away like candy.

One good quality compliment that focuses on what makes her unique is far better than many empty compliments. Compliment the things that make her stand out, like her funky hairstyle or her witty sense of humor.

8. Don’t like every social media post

If you go back 10 years and start leaving likes and comments on all of her social media posts, it’s going to look weird.

Avoid liking or commenting on things she has posted in the past, from before the two of you were connected on social media.

When she creates new posts, give them a like, or comment on them sporadically, and only when you have something worthwhile to say.

Common questions

What is a cute way to say hi?

If you have a pet, send her a photo of it and caption it as “[Name of pet] says hi!” Or send her a photo of something that reminded you of her in your day: a pretty flower, a sunset. Caption it as: “Made me think of you and just wanted to say hi!”

How should you act when a girl is talking to you?

It sounds simple, but just be yourself: don’t overthink what to say or do. Stay calm by focusing your attention on her and asking her questions. Have an attitude of curiosity and treat her as you would anyone else you were trying to get to know

How do you respond to a flirty text?

Mirror what she has sent. If she sends something funny or playful, send something funny and playful back. If she sends something sincere, send something sincere back. Say she says, “You know, you’re actually kind of cute.” You could say, “You know, you’re actually not so bad yourself!”

How do I carry on a conversation with a girl?

Ask her open-ended, thought-provoking questions. For example, don’t ask, “What do you do for work?” ask, “Do you enjoy your work?” If she answers your questions without asking you anything back, add a comment. This could revive the conversation and spark talk on a new topic.