Thinking about how to approach and talk to the girl you like can be enough to drive you crazy, whether it’s in-person, over text, or online.

It feels like there is so much pressure riding on that first conversation. You want the cute girl you’ve been crushing on to like you back, but you’re terrified of doing or saying the wrong thing. You’d hate to embarrass yourself and have the girl you like to think of you as a weirdo or a creep.

All you want is to know what kind of things to say to create an interesting first conversation that will get sparks flying between you and your crush.

If this sounds like you, and if fear of rejection and the unknown have been holding you back in your dating life, then this article is for you.

The tips provided will help you feel confident initiating the first conversation with a new girl or with the girl you’ve liked for some time. Whether you plan to make your first move in-person, over messenger, or online, the tips shared in this article will help you do so effortlessly.

Sections

1. How to start a conversation in real life
2. How to start a conversation over text / online
3. How NOT to talk to a girl over text/ online
4. common questions

How to start a conversation with a girl you like in real life

Striking up a face-to-face conversation with a girl you’re into can make you feel extra nervous. It doesn’t matter if she’s a completely random girl, an acquaintance, or a long-time friend.

The last thing you want is to be at a loss for words when you finally build up the courage to make your approach and let your crush know you’re interested.

To make it easier for yourself, try out the tips below for starting a conversation with a girl you like in real life. The next time you see an attractive woman, whether at school, at a bar, or anywhere else, you won’t have to think twice. You’ll know exactly how to initiate that first chat and what to say.

Here are 7 top tips on how to start a conversation with a girl you like in real life:

1. Approach her and introduce yourself

Starting a conversation with a woman by greeting her and introducing yourself may not be the most original strategy, but it works. Not only does it make you appear more sincere, but it is also less risky than using a pick-up line that she may not consider very funny.

The next time you’re out, and you see a cute girl that you want to talk to, put on a warm, friendly smile and make your approach. Hold out your hand and say, “Hi, my name is _____. What’s your name?”

Then, you can tell her why you came over. Maybe her smile caught your eye. Or maybe you noticed she was reading a book that you’ve been wanting to read. You thought it’d be a great opportunity to get her opinion on it.

2. Take advantage of your environment

No matter where you are, you can always use your immediate surroundings as an excuse to start a conversation with your crush. Just examine what is around you, comment on it, and pose a question.

If you’re both waiting for the bus to arrive and you notice the weather is clearing up, you might say, “Aren’t you glad the rain is finally clearing up?”

If you’re at a bar or club and you notice the girl you like is bobbing her head to the beat of a song that’s playing, you could say: “Awesome song, right?” If she responds positively, you could ask her if she has heard the band or artist’s latest single. Let the conversation continue to flow from there.

3. Find shared interests

If you can find something that you have in common with the girl you like, this can make for a great conversation topic.

To do this without directly asking her, look to the environment for clues. Let’s say you notice that she has a backpack with badges from different countries pinned on it. It’s safe to assume that she’s done a bit of traveling. If you like traveling too, you could comment on her backpack, using it as a conversation starter.

You could say, “Nice backpack. It seems like you’re quite the traveler.”

If she responds favorably, you can exchange travel stories and bond over a common interest right from the start.

4. Look for a mutual connection

If you have a friend in common with your crush, you can ask her about her connection to your friend as an ice-breaker.

Having a mutual connection will make your crush feel more comfortable talking to you because you won’t feel like a total stranger to her.

If you’re at a party organized by a mutual friend, ask your crush how she knows your friend. Then, you can share an interesting or funny story about your friendship. For example, maybe you became friends because you used to attend Karate classes together as kids.

5. Give her a thoughtful compliment

If you want to make it clear that you’re being flirty, try starting a conversation with the girl you like by giving her a compliment.

There are two ground rules when it comes to giving women compliments. The first is to be genuine, and the second is to avoid compliments that objectify her, like compliments on her body.

acknowledge something unique to the other person.

Say you’re at a bar, and you see a cute girl. She’s laughing loudly, and you find her laugh endearing. Telling her, “I couldn’t help but notice your laugh, it’s infectious!” would count as a genuine compliment.

Generic compliments, like “You’re beautiful” that can be used on anyone and lack originality are the kinds you want to avoid.

6. Ask her about her day

If you ask the girl you like how her day is going, she will find it sweet and thoughtful. Asking her about her day gives you the opportunity to listen to her attentively and to make her feel heard.

Women can tell the difference between people who are sincere or not by their actions. Asking questions that show you care will let her know your intentions are genuine.

Next time you see the girl you like, strike up a conversation with her by asking her how her day is going. You can get more creative with this and ask her what the highlight of her day has been so far.

7. Make her laugh

If you’re feeling a bit bolder, you can start a conversation with a girl you like by using a funny pick-up line. Just be prepared for the possibility that this approach may not work with every woman. It will only work if she finds what you have to say amusing.

If you do use this approach, try to be more original with what you say.

Here are two examples:

1. If you have been seeing your crush in the same place a lot lately, make a joke about her “following” you.
2. Go up to her and ask her a random either-or question, like “Apples or bananas?” This could spark an amusing debate about which fruit is better and make her laugh at the same time.

How to start a conversation with a girl you like over text or online

So you’re already in contact with the girl you like. Maybe you had the courage to ask for her number, and now you’re trying to come up with a great text conversation starter.

Or perhaps you’ve been connected with your crush over social media for a while. You want to reach out, but you can’t think of a good enough excuse to message her after all this time. You don’t want to be the creep she tells her friends has been sliding into her DMs.

And let’s suppose you matched with your dream girl on Tinder. How could you start an interesting, non-generic conversation with her? One that she would get excited about and want to respond to.

The tips below will help you start a conversation with your crush from behind your screen, whether through old-school texting, social media platforms, or some other online dating platform.

Here are 10 top tips for how to start a conversation with a girl you like over text or online:

1. Ask engaging questions

Asking a girl you like boring questions like, “how are you?” and “what are you up to?” over text is one way to kill the conversation before it begins.

Good conversations engage the other person. One way to create an engaging conversation is to ask interesting, open-ended questions. These kinds of questions will make a girl want to open up and talk about herself.

Here are some examples:

• How would you describe yourself in three words?
• If your house was on fire and you could only take two personal items with you, what would you take?

These questions are much more fun to answer than the typical ones, like “what are your hobbies?” or “what kind of movies do you like?”

With well-thought-out, engaging questions, you can successfully skip the small talk. You can get to know your crush on a more personal level while still keeping things light.

2. Mention an upcoming event

Talking about an upcoming event that both you and your crush are attending is a great conversation starter. It creates anticipation and builds excitement in the possibility of seeing one another again.

If there is a big social event coming up and you know that the girl you like has been invited too, you can send her a text asking her if she is going. Or you could even tell her that you hope to see her there.

If you’re planning to eat out one day, ask her if she has any restaurant suggestions. If the conversation goes well, ask her to join you.

Some other recommendations you could ask for could be recommendations for a new book to read, a new series to watch, and new music to listen to.

4. Make your texts meaningful

If you really want to impress the woman you like, start a conversation with her over text by sending her something thoughtful.(continue)